Splendid Delusion
by ghostlyCavalier
Summary: On her own adventure, L runs away from her past and towards the future. But as much as she tries, she cannot escape herself. Just as much as she cannot stop writing letters that are never sent.
1. Chapter 1

Splendid Delusion: Chapter 1

Dear Arima,

It's been quite a while, no? Well I suppose not. My apologies. I'm not sure why I'm writing anymore. Why I bother. There's nothing to say. Not that that has ever stopped you before.

-L

You stretched out your freshly inked paper and study the words thoroughly, as if it weren't freshly dried ink. A sigh escapes your lips as you busy yourself with thoughts of whether to crumple the paper, or send it. There's no point in sending it, but it would be quite a waste to simply throw it away. Slumped in front of the Pelipper office, you hear and feel the knocking noise as your head hits the wall that you sit against. Biting your lip, you roll the letter up to the traditional format it always takes as you send it on its way. By which it is meant that you carefully stash it in your sack with her others. She understands.

You shove your hair through a hairband and form a medium-length ponytail. Walking along the path that doesn't exist, you feel your poke balls against your belt, counting a soft 1, 2, 3 to make sure they are all there. There used to be a fourth, but you don't want to talk about it-it doesn't matter any more. Except that it does, but that doesn't change the fact that you don't want to talk about it.

You allow the release of your precious Sneasel from the left-most ball, allowing her to appear in a quick flash of light. You smile a bit, the first you have in a while. Sneasel looks questioning to the South, facing herself towards you while making a nodding motion to that direction. You tell her no, it's too late for that now.

Jubilife City is up ahead, full of various buildings, markets, and most importantly-suckers. With Sneasel at stride next to you, you have her scout the near by markets-and by scout you mean pick-pocket. You know it's not right, but it's the only way to get by nowadays. Not that anybody's willing to take you in-but that's life, and it's got to have problems right? And yours never seem to stop piling. You're pretty okay with that though, you get by.

All you know is that you can't go back home.

Besides the consistent ridicule and overall misery.

It's not safe.

It's not safe and you won't let any of your Pokémon get hurt. Not like..no. You're not going into this it's not the time. And timing is everything. Or at least this is what you have been lead to believe-because if something was even a second late, it would not be the same. Not that you could ever prove this of course. It's better to assume that all that happens here is inevitable. Inevitability lets you be reckless.


	2. Chapter 2

Splendid Delusion-Chapter 2

Arima,

I know you don't want to hear from me-sorry. Jubilife has been well. Do you even care anymore? You never answer. Not that I've ever even given you the chance to. So I'm sorry for that as well. This city is so big. I think that I can stay here a while. And maybe, be okay. Yes, everything's going to be okay. I'll make everything alright you just wait. I'll fix everything and when I come back it will all be okay you'll see. And maybe.. you can be proud of me?

-L

Sneasel eats berries from the bush for a while you beat around the bush. Pacing up and down and up and down and up and down. The floor doesn't give way though, holding up all of your worries while you wait for motivation. Staring blandly at your sweet gold poke ball, you give way to your happy place. You don't let Togetic out too often, she makes you too happy, and you don't deserve that after what you did.

Oh no. Oh God no you have got to be kidding yourself.

One of the naïve trainers. Well all trainers are like that in your opinion. You would rather not be around people if you don't have to be, or anyone really. Your pokemon are alright though. Yours at least. They understand. So does Arima, but she's never there, always here. If only you could abscond from what is clearly an upcoming battle. Time to amuse the pathetic child.

A generic youngster approaches, sporting the Kanto-style shorts that is rather last season and a t-shirt that has probably never left their body since they bought it. They challenge you to a battle in a series of sputters they call words, and don't give you the time to display your lack of interest before bringing out a Starly.

Sweet Arceus you love birds. Why'd it have to be a bird?

You glance at Sneasel, who refuses to battle on an empty stomach (despite already eating so many berries she might as well have a pot belly), only to be rejected. Togetic waltzes over to the scene and you sigh so heavily you think the vendors you stole from earlier probably smell your breath tainted with their precious merchandise. You fail to abscond.

He yells out something about wings from underneath his baseball hat, faced the wrong way as if it was cool (which he probably thought it was). Togetic gets knocked to between your feet in your hesitation, barely scruffed but you still find yourself angry..at yourself. Gotta keep in time. You manage a challenging smirk in the heat of the battle and dramatically face your palm to the trainer, pointer finger raised to where Arceus sleeps. You retract your hand and with a slightly-larger-than-necessary step direct it towards the trainer, commanding all the same for Togetic to Mirror Move the Starly, taking it's own attack to the face. Caught in the heat of the moment to follow up with a graceful Fairy Wind, blowing the Starly around in indistinguishable winds, different from the sorts to which it usually flew.

You pant with your hands on your knees despite not doing much work. But you and your Pokemon, you're one in battle. That's why you don't battle. You don't want to hurt anyone again.

You send the kid on his way, his absence a prize good enough for you. What value could money possibly have anyway?


	3. Chapter 3

Splendid Delusion - Chapter 3

Dear Arima,

I've moved out of Jubilife. The city crowd simply isn't for me, you know? I think that I prefer to be by myself. Do you ever get lonely? Probably not, seeing as you're too busy to say anything back. I don't ever feel lonely you know me...heh. Ha! I have my Pokémon. How are yours? Actually, don't answer that. Sorry.

-L

You enter through the previous route of some number to find various aromas surrounding you. You immediately don't like it. Your eyebrows shake a little in panic as you stagger back, tripping over Sneasel and back into the cave from which you just emerged. No no no this will not do at all you think to yourself. Nope this will not be of happenstance as you resist what you can feel coming up. You stumble back on your feet and give Sneasel a quick pat-smile combo. Not today.

[Note: Of the five senses, the sense of smell is generally the most underrated and according to most people could generally be done without-alongside taste. However, the sense of smell is in fact one of the most important senses in the fact that is has a direct link to memory trigger. In this way, unlike other senses, the olfactory sense deals with not one, but two Ways of Knowing: Sense Perception and Memory.]

You quickly recall Sneasel back into her poke ball, acknowledging her last-second plea but giving it no regard. That look though, almost just like..

You go to the nearest retreat of Floraroma that you can tell-or you would if it weren't being blocked by two strange men in fashion statements that should have never left the racks. You call out your final Pokémon and send them off quickly. She is returned to her poke ball in a flash and you enter through the trees.

Not more flowers.

You change your mind.

You dash through the sweet scents, pinching your nose shut all the way. You slam the door of the Pokémon center behind you, looking awkwardly around at those who stare. You breathe a silent heh, scolding yourself thoroughly in your head.

_Come on what's the deal? All these flowers. I need to get out of here without being noticed. Yeah pretty sure I stole that woman's candy the other day. Or maybe not? Gah all these people look the same! Okay get it together you can do this. Dang it Arima where are you? I need you._

You take a not-so-deep breath and walk over to the elongated couch to the side. You sit down in an empty space, resting your head against the wall. Togetic emerges from his poke ball unrequited. He nuzzles against you in reassurance. Yes everything will be okay you tell yourself. As long as you keep lying to yourself everything will turn out fine. You'll never have to face the truth. And the judgment that comes with it. You aren't guilty.

You hold Togetic to your chest and pet his head. You're feeling a bit better now you lie.

You walk out of the health care service and call out all three of your Pokémon, ignoring your nose's urges. You kneel down and scratch Sneasel under her chin before getting to business. The next route is to your left, pointing towards a windmill towering not too far away. You tell them that that is their place of host, though they not be parasites. Dusk is approaching though the town in too small for anybody worth pickpocketing. You give your Pokémon what you have available. At least Togetic doesn't mind eating flowers.

Just keep running away.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Arima,

Yesterday I went to camp out at a Windmill place of sorts. Basically it's this place with large sticks that go waaay up into the sky and have metal that sticks out. And when the wind blows they spin! But you probably already knew that, I'm just stalling. Sorry. There was a balloon there. Or, I think it was a balloon? I think it might have been a Pokemon. Hehe! Maybe if I owned a Pokedex I would know, but they don't give them out to just anyone. He popped. The balloon I mean. I think it was a boy at least. I think I'm going to hold a funeral.

-L

You reread your letter to yourself and realize how sad it is. You won't be sending this one. Which isn't any different than usual. The little purple balloon's remains are next to you. You had to put Sneasel back into her Pokeball so that she would stop messing with them. That's so dark you think.

It had been a Drifloon, but you didn't want to mention that. Sometimes playing dumb is okay, until people begin to think that you are. You sigh attempt a lip quiver, but cannot do even that. It just makes you sad is all. Besides, you don't want your third Pokemon to see. She wants the soul you can tell, but...this just doesn't seem right somehow.

It's currently early morning. You slept in the place easily. In fact, when you had come in, someone else had been just leaving it appeared. Although you don't know who they were, probably just some regular ten-year old. At least they knew how to dress differently than everybody else. Those youngsters annoy you so much with their backwards hats. So unfashionable. Not that you can really judge, you think as you look down at your clothes-dirtied from travel. Your last Pokemon goes back into her ball. She's rather pretty you think, but scares you well enough as well.

You do the proper thing and lift up the deflated Pokemon into the next gust of wind. He blows away easily as he always had when alive. This is too sad you think. Because there was nothing you could do. Just like...

Never mind. You feel so alone though. Your Pokemon are no longer around you. But you suppose that it was always meant to be like this anyway. It would probably be worse if you didn't romanticize it. "A lone girl on a journey with her Pokemon. She runs away into oblivion. But not the kind of nothingness that you would think. Nothingness like in space. Where it may be nothing but there's stars and lights and everything was created there. That's what she's apart of." But that's not really you. That's just who you wish you were.

You suppose you've wasted all of time that you set for moping already. In one session too, it's been a while since that happened. Usually it's spread more throughout. But discussing with yourself your scheduling habits can't possible be healthy. Time to hit the road. If you take advantage of game mechanics you might to able to reach Mt. Coronet by Tuesday. You have an appointment with your boss. If only you knew what day it was today.


	5. Chapter 5

Splendid Delusion - Chapter 5

* * *

Dear Arima,

I was late to meet with my boss. That's all. Late late late late late. Like always. Late is a funny word. Laaaaaaaaate. Heh. It's nice to feel okay again. Boss fired me. Late too many times! But that's okay. Because if something happened it's because it had to. I know that now. And everything seems okay again.

-L

You stash the letter back into your sack. The day seems..clearer..than usual. Not in a way where there's less clouds. Just less. You're not sure of what. It's funny. There's nothing to block the sun. It's there but you can't look at it for too long. You know that there's something to that. If only you had the words.

Sneasel is out of her pokeball, purring gently as you scratch between her red feather appendages. There's something serene about Mt. Coronet. Perhaps it's the broken pillars, worn away by time. You would think that. You put that thought aside, knowing that in reality, long ago the pillar was knocked down violently by time. Or, at least, a physical manifestation of it. Hehe.

Togetic flits about, also uncontained. What evolutionary scheme decided _triangles_ were a good idea? You frown at the lack of circles. Circles are so perfect. So round. Less..pointy. You suppose you're just distracting yourself. It's time to go. To where is what you're distracting yourself from.

You were supposed to come here with some rock. Rocks seem to be real special nowadays. Some guy in Hoenn collects them as a _hobby_. Some people just blow your mind. But you didn't. Bring the rock you mean. You forget what it was called. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. You don't feel as sad as you suppose you should. From what you've gathered, losing a gig is a mournful experience. You're so tired of being sad though. Perhaps tomorrow you will feel rested enough to be sad again.

Oh.

You forgot.

Her.

She's resting casually near the pillar. The one that isn't broke. With only a quick glance to you, she knocks it over and stares at the wreckage. Looking back at you, you can almost here her say, this isn't over yet. You know that things aren't okay. Why are you pretending they are?

You recall her back into her pokeball.


End file.
